A breakthrough point for me was at the YPQA training where we learned about and practiced observing and writing down a stream of factual information. This was very hard. I had to focus ( for once), clear my mind, and just observe. Suspend judgement. Stick with facts and a clock. Keep up with the activities. Watch my mind jump ahead of the pen and will the ball point forward at a faster rate. Just the facts maam.
Now having practiced this exercise many many times, it almost feels like a meditation or a giving act. Slowing down brings forward questions and challenges deeply held convictions. If a child is engaged, you are there to experience it. If a teacher makes a mistake, you feel it. You can elongate the little things: Smiles, anger, frustration, boredom; all the real emotions of humanity in a moment.
Zeroing in is to take an reading from which other readings are to be measures. I see this as a laser beam in on the kids, the adults and the spaces in between. I focus on nothing else.
The other day I was able to feel a juxtaposition of two programs, one of total structure and tradition; another of total freedom and spontaneity. Free play outside and violin lessons. Same time; next to each other; different kids. These are two things I know a lot about and have put in my time.
In violin, kids were in rows, working on their posture, and holding violins and learning bow strokes while holding off on the third beat of four.
Outside kids were running, holding onto monkey bars and dropping with glee.
I tried to imagine what was going on in all of these brains. What was being built and how. And for what.
There was struggle and challenge on the fiddles. It was not fun and games. Yet it WAS all fun and games outside.
I wondered, which if anything, was better. And why.
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